A Boy's Opinion
by Sk8rnerdbleach
Summary: The Shinigami Women's Association decide to have some fun. First, Byakuya attends, then more unsuspecting people fall into the web of women. Could things get better or worse? You will occasionally participate in this fanfic!
1. Intro: The Surpise Topic

**A Boy's Opinion Intro**

**A/N: **This is fanfic number two. Takes place at Shinigami Women's Association.

Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach; wish I did, but I don't.

**Chapter 1: Surprise Topic**

"Nii-sama! Nii-sama!" Rukia ran into his office huffing and puffing.

"Yes Rukia?" Her older brother said calmly.

"I can't make it to the Shinigami Women's Association meeting…again, but I have a good reason." The petite girl said with confidence.

"Really? Please explain." He turned his chair to face her.

"Ukitake-taicho is holding a training session and insists I be there." She said in an almost pleading way, losing an ounce of that confidence. She slowly winces and fringed as she awaited his answer.

"Very well." He said as he broke the temporary silence. "I shall attend in your spot and represent you in the meeting…again." Her brother swiveled his chair back and continued working.

"thank you so much, Nii-sama." Rukia bowed and then slipped out of the room before he even had the thought of changing his mind. _So close to the door!_

"Oh, and Rukia." He called. _Oh no!_

She stopped clean in her tracks and slowly made her way back to her brother's office. "Yes sir?"

"Do you know what the topic they will be discussing? I want to be prepared."

"No, I'm afraid I don't. Since I am not an, um, _active_ member, I don't get the memos, sorry." Rukia was ready to be scolded at any moment. Instead, Byakuya just nodded and let her go. Rukia let out a sigh in relief.

_A surprise topic, huh? Well, I'm sure it will be a topic that I have thorough knowledge in. Maybe it will be something on the Rukongai, or possible the current status of hollow reports. Maybe, if it gets too girly, it will be on make-up or something related. _He thought to himself.

"Excuse me sir." A servant abruptly spoke at his doorway. "The meeting you will be attending starts in ten minutes. I know how punctual you are and would not want to be late."

"Yes, of course not, thank you." The Kuchiki head nodded and left.

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Byakuya made his way towards a nice well-built building. After he entered he saw about 50 or more women there. The room went silent.

After a long silence, Rangiku Matsumoto spoke up. "Wow, we weren't expecting you. She pointed slightly to Byakuya. "We were kind of expecting Kuchiki number 2 not Kuchiki number 1."

"Rukia has a training session with Ukitake-taicho." The noble explained. "I granted her request so that she may hopefully learn something new."

"We don't have a training session." Kiyone Kotetsu hollered from the back of the room. "If we did, I would be there."

Rangiku nodded and pretended to act like a moderator in the dispute.

"Maybe it was for a personal training lesson. Rukia does need some personal one-on-one attention for training." Byakuya suggested.

"I personality don't think Rukia-chan is training at all." Everyone turned their head towards Nanao Ise. "I think she is spending time with that Ichigo boy."

There was a bunch of agreements from the room.

"Those two are joined at the hip." Rangiku added. More agreements ran throughout the enclosed space.

Yoruichi suddenly appeared in the doorway. "I know this whole meeting is not going to be about Byakuya's poor little sister, right? Leave the poor girl alone." She smiled.

"Our last member is here! Rangiku squealed as she made her way to the podium. "The official meeting can begin. Will everyone please take their seats?"

"Isn't Yachiru Kusajishi the president? Shouldn't _she_ lead this meeting?" said a voice from the crowd.

Rangiku cleared her throat. "_Actually_, Yachiru has temporarily gone…er, missing and stated that I take her place for today, so you'll just have to deal with me instead."

The only male in the room raised his hand.

"Yes?" Rangiku said with all smiles.

"I would like to know the topic we will discuss today."

The busty woman at the podium giggled slightly. "Girl's and boys." This statement was followed by more giggling from everywhere.

Byakuya's eyes widened. He swiftly got up from his chair. "if you will, excuse me."

In one flash, Yoruichi was right in front of him. She placed her hand lightly on his chest and pushed him back in his seat. "You're not going anywhere, Byakuya-bo."

The older Kuchiki's eyes widened even more. "Okay then. I guess I'm staying. So you ladies can go talk about whatever it is you want to talk about and I will be in the corner over there. When you decide to start a conversation about something productive, I'll be in that corner." He said calmly as he pointed to the end of the room.

"Actually," Rangiku announced. "All of _ladies_ here are going to ask you questions and ask for your ideas on the topics of boys and girls. Like the example question of 'what do guys look for in a girl?' and then you would respond. Think of this as getting a boy's opinion."

"Sure. I suppose that is the only way to come out of this situation alive." Byakuya cringed at his weakness and spinelessness when it comes to this kind of thing.

"So are we free to ask?" Yoruichi questioned.

"Ask away."

A/N: Like it? Well, I need you to do your part. The Shinigami Women's Association needs questions to ask Byakuya. Here is what you have to do:

Think of a question to ask Byakuya (It MUST have to do with something about girls or boys)

You need to write the person who asked the question or I will choose someone

Have fun!

Thank you so much! Write your questions! When I have 6 questions, I will continue. I will try to use every single one!


	2. A Conversation of Questions

**A Conversation of Questions**

A/N: Chapter two is up! I tried to use all of the questions I received. I got some great ones! Some people had the same on or one very closely related to another one. I tried to be fair! Enjoy!

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"So, I guess we can start questioning." Rangiku commented.

"I agree, we should start!" Someone said in the back.

_Oh boy. Here we go. How will I respond? Should I lie? Can I just make something up on the spot? I hope it is nothing personal; I can't take personal questions. It's just some women. They probably will ask personal questions if I know women well enough. Here we go…_

"Who wants to go first?" Yoruichi asked around as she stood next to Rangiku on the podium.

"I'll get us started." Rangiku smiled. "Okay, I want to know if you like anyone."

"If I like anyone? That isn't too hard." He shrugged slightly.

"Yes, it isn't hard but, think of this as a game of 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire'. The questions get harder as you go on and you're not playing for money, you're playing for freedom." The shape shifter explained. "Your answer to the question now."

"No, I do not right now. I don't know what makes you think I would."

"Because you're young and single." Nanao Ise said analytically.

"'I'm not single, I'm married." Byakuya responded calmly.

"Widowed." Nanao corrected. "You're status is single."

"I admit, I am a widower, but, I do not plan on liking anyone. Can we move on with another question?" He said almost losing his calm.

"I have a question." Yoruichi raised her hand slightly after a moment of uninterrupted silence.

Byakuya hung his head down. _Oh crap._ "Yes?"

"It's not that big of a deal. In fact, my question might be less personal and not as bad as _some_ women here." The shape-shifter smiled.

"Please; just hit me with it."

"What are guys really thinking when a girl asks them out?" She smiled back at him.

Soon, all eyes were focused on where he was sitting; eagerly awaiting his answer.

"Why do you ladies want to know these things?" He inquired.

Nanao spoke up again. "Because women want to know how men's mind work so it is easier to talk to them." Many agreed.

"Fine. Hmm, well, men will first wonder why and be in a state of shock. Usually, if they aren't like me, they would accept. If you do make it to a first date, there might not be a second." He explained loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Why not a second date?" Someone shouted out.

"Because, you personality might be completely out of his standards."

"How could guys think like that?! You have to live up to their standards to be good enough for them?!" Rangiku was outraged.

"Usually, if they are too nice of guys, they will start taking you on pity dates."

Rangiku about jumped out at him until restrained by Soi Fon and Yoruichi.

"Maybe another person should ask a question." Soi Fon asked while struggling with Rangiku.

The mostly quiet Isane Kotetsu stood up. "What personality traits to guys look for in a girl?"

"That's a good question. I would guess, honesty, loyalty, kindness, some assertiveness and can stand up for themselves when need be. Looks are also a factor considering men are usually visually stimulated." Byakuya responded.

"Those are good, but what turns _you_ on?" Isane said back.

"I really don't think my opinion matters, but, I look for about the same traits but someone who has some nobility might be nice."

"Does that mean Yoruichi gets you?!" A girl complained from the crowd.

"No!" Yoruichi and Byakuya yelled in unison.

""Not to break your arguing, but, I have a question." Rangiku said as she recovered from her previous outbreak. "Where would you take a girl on a date _Mr. High Standards_?"

"I would take them to my house for an elegant banquet by my best chefs. If I really liked that person of course."

"Expensive." Rangiku raised her eyebrows. "So, have you ever stalked someone?"

"What?"

"Stalked someone. You know, followed them everywhere and watched their every move?" Nanao commented in her intelligent tone of voice.

"No."

"Not even Rukia? The sister you care so much about and would never let her come within a 5 mile radius of Ichigo Kurosaki? You watch her to keep her safe right?" Soi Fon smiled thinking she'd got him.

"Actually, I have a tracker placed on her. I know where she is at all times." The only guy in the room said straight-forwardly, acting like that wasn't weird at all.

"Okay, do you think women are mysterious? Like, have hidden secrets or something." Isane inquired a little quietly.

"Well, I don't, but some others may think differently. I think women can pretty much show themselves wherever they are. They may have a secret or two but not enough to call them mysterious. Another guy may say yes because their partner may keep things from them and may often disappear without explanation." Byakuya answered.

"I know what **that** feels like. Gin always left without explanation." Rangiku almost started sobbing.

"Who does your hair?" Kiyone Kotetsu said eagerly as she raised her hand.

"I do my own hair actually." He gave Kiyone an awkward look that said _that was the most completely irrelevant and strangest question I have probably heard._

"I have a question!" Momo Hinamori stuck her hand out. "Do guys really care about their chest size? Because, Toshiro is kind of talking to me less and says he needs to get stronger. I just want to know if that's why he is ignoring me, you know, because he wants to gain more muscle to look tougher."

"I honestly think that is Captain Hitsugaya's business should stay his business. If he wants to get stronger, let him. Don't worry about it because once he gets to where he wants to be, he will come back to you." Byakuya explained as there were 'oohs' and 'ahhs' rumbling around the obvious.

Nemu Kuroscuchi approached from the back of the room. "How much cleavage to guys like to see exactly?"

"None!" Byakuya answered in disgust.

"We are talking about guys in general, not just you Byakuya." Yoruichi rolled her eyes.

"Well, some perverted guy may like to see more than you give them but usually, if they are more civil and a better person, you should show some to none." He said in a still quite grossed out tone.

"How about an example?" Rangiku stood up from the podium. "This much," she showed herself to everyone, "or this much," she lowered her shirt.

Byakuya and some other girls covered their eyes.

"No! Don't, oh gosh, pull up your shirt!" Byakuya kept his hands over his eyes.

"Wow, we now know what will freak you out Byakuya." Yoruichi smiled teasingly.

"Are these questions over?" He complained.

"Oh, that was just a practice round. We are really beginning momentarily." Rangiku and Yoruichi said at almost the same time.

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A/N: Yikes! A sticky situation. I hope you like this chapter! I tried to do everyone's. Thanks to everyone who sent me a question! I plan to get another chapter out soon but I will again, need your help. I need 10 or more questions to continue. I will soon bring out one more guy for a second boy's opinion so Byakuya won't be alone. (Hint: His names initials are TH)


	3. Torture

**Torture**

**A/N: **Chapter three! Thank you to everyone who sent me a question or a review. Once again, I tried to use all of the questions. I would like to say, good questions! You guys have great thinking! Enjoy.

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"Time to get to the real thing! The real game." Rangiku announced. "But first, we all kind of felt sorry for Byakuya because this whole thing _was_ unexpected so we will bring another guy out here."

For the first time, Byakuya wished this person would be Renji. Renji would really back him up and maybe even answer questions for him. Also, if Renji refused, he would be in a lot of trouble. It was the either answer questions now, or face Byakuya's wrath later. Let it be Renji, let it be Renji…

"I must first go get him." The woman at the podium hopped away to get the next victim.

"Matsumoto! What are you doing?!" Is all the audience could hear from outside. "No!!!!"

"I've got him." She walked in with a tied up and blindfolded Toshiro Hitsugaya. She slowly unraveled all the wrappings and undid his eyes last.

"Where am I? Why are there so many women in here? What is Captain Kuchiki doing here? Why was I tied up?!" The little captain yelled furiously.

Byakuya hung his head down. _The kid? It had to be the kid. He is most uneducated and probably has no clue how to answer some of the questions. He has no idea what is in store for him. _

"Take a seat riiiiighhttttt here." She elongated the word 'right' and sat Toshiro down in a seat right next to Byakuya.

"What are we doing here?" The petite captain whispered to his fellow 'prisoner'.

"You just answer any questions they throw at you. It's for your freedom." He whispered at him without making eye contact. Toshiro nodded in acknowledgement.

"Okay boys, I guess we can begin now." Yoruichi turned to face them and then made her way to the stand.

"Kill me now." Toshiro said to himself.

"Maybe we should make this a little more fun." Rangiku announced proudly.

"And just how?" Yoruichi said, sounding interested.

"I say, we handcuff them to their chairs, a kido repellent cuff of course, and that we attach lie detectors on them so they aren't lying about their answers." She proposed.

"I like the way you think." Soi Fon concurred.

Moments later, Byakuya and Toshiro were both handcuffed to their chairs with tiny micro lie detectors that were strapped to their torsos.

"These are really uncomfortable." Toshiro mumbled. "Matsumoto! I will get you back for this!"

"Sure you will, captain. So, any questions for our lucky contestants?"

"Yes. Me!" Momo raised her hand high above her head. "What do you think of girl's who put out after the first date? Will they get a call back?"

Toshiro thought this through. He decided to give Byakuya a break from answering since the guy's been through a lot. "I would say, guys think the girl is okay but probably won't get a call back. But, if the girl calls, the guy won't hang up on her. Next!" Honestly, he was going to hate this.

"I think I came up with a pretty good one." Rangiku announced proudly as everyone's attention focused on her. "When a boy teases a girl, he really just likes her?"

"I guess I can answer this one." Toshiro rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I guess, the answer would be sometimes. It's fifty-fifty. If it is the fifty percent that he does like her, then he probably would tease her to deny his actual feelings. But if it is the other fifty, then he probably thinks the girl is annoying and wants to tell her that through harsh words. Usually, if he likes you, he will only use words, but if not, the guy might get physical, if he's a kid though. Because guys can't look weak in front of their friends."

"Wow, that was deep, captain." Rangiku gave him a shocked look.

"Yeah, whatever."

Retsu Unohana put her hand high in the air. "Do men remember the dates on the calendar? Like birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions?" This question made murmurs of content in the audience.

"Well, I guess so." The older male in the room spoke. "I think that if the man thinks it is really important then it is planted in his memory, such as a birthday, sometimes. But if it is something like a one week anniversary or five week anniversary, you should expect him not to remember." Toshiro nodded in agreement.

"But what if we really emphasize that there is a one week anniversary? Then will he remember it?" Someone inquired.

Toshiro finished for the both of them. "If it is not important to the guy, then it doesn't matter how many times you remind him, he won't remember when the time comes."

"That's so rude!" a holler from the crowd screamed.

"Wait," Byakuya said to try to calm everyone down. "You have too high of expectations! You can't expect a guy to remember a week anniversary? You are expecting too much. A one _month_ might be something he can handle."

"Okay, I have two questions for the both of you. You could both answer or just one answers each question." Rangiku smiled slightly. "Question one: what gift would you give a woman you like?"

They both thought this over. Byakuya went first. "I would start with flowers, then maybe her favorite food, then I maybe more material things like a new accessory for something like jewelry." Then he nodded to Toshiro signaling his turn.

"I would get her something less expensive because we all aren't as wealthy as _some_ people. Her favorite foods, something of mine maybe, something special of mine though. Or just spending time with her. Not all girls expect gifts"

"Interesting, my second question is: why are men intimidated by women who are protective and secure of themselves?"

"It is because they feel like less of a guy is a girl is too protective. If a girl can't be herself around a guy, especially a guy she is dating, then there is no reason they should be dating. If you lock yourself up whenever you are around him, he will think you don't like him." The short captain explained clearly.

"I agree with Captain Hitsugaya." Captain 6 concluded. "They don't mind if you are secure of yourself, but being too secure will turn the man away. It's not really about being intimidated but more about not feeling comfortable."

"I have a question for Byakuya." Isane stood up so everyone could see her. "Would you be intimidated by a woman's high intellect or her exceptional beauty?"

"No. I think a woman with brains and beauty is a good one to be with. A woman with just brains is good as long as she still looks decent. A woman with just beauty and some to none intellect is not worth being around. Men will just use a woman like that as a trophy."

"This one is for both of you." Some girl said from the side of the room. "Would you guys date a fangirl?"

Both males exchanged looks and said simultaneously, "Never."

Soi Fon stepped up to the podium. "I have a great question. It is sure to be the worst torture of all." She said evilly.

"You could have said all from your seat." Yoruichi questioned while giving the girl an inquisitive look.

"Anyway, I want to know that when women ask if our butts look big, are the answers really truthful."

Both guys stammered, looked at each other and stammered again. Both of them were waiting for the other to answer. Finally one said something…

"Well, um, I guess we _can_ be lying sometimes, but know this: we are only putting _your_ feelings into consideration. If we told you the truth, you might slap us in the arm." The brave and a little frightened kid said softly.

Byakuya knew the kid was going to get the heat so he decided to help a fellow male out this time. "But, usually, men would not date a woman with an overly large behind anyway. I do not know why you care about that kind of stuff. If a man really likes you, he will think you always look perfect so why can't you women see yourself as perfect enough? Looks don't always count, usually." Toshiro sighed in relief and swiftly agreed to Byakuya's comments.

"If you guys are so _honest_, then tell me this," Unohana inquired as she turned to face them. "Does my butt look big? In all honesty."

Both went pale in the face.

"Well?"

"It does umm, well, uh, tell her Byakuya." Toshiro attempted to scoot his chair away from he scene.

"It, you know, looks, normal." The 6th captain shrugged nervously.

"Does that mean it is big or not?" Yoruichi smiled as she turned her head to the side.

"Well, it is, just… Why do you care anyway?" The white haired boy complained as he tried to change the subject.

"I just wanted to know. Because I think I am getting a little fat. Am I getting fat, boys?" Retsu tortures well.

"You, well, um, I think, you…" Byakuya was at a loss for words.

"You look so thin!" Toshiro finished for him.

"Why thank you! But, was that the truth or not?"

"Of course it was! From the front, you can't even tell your butt is big." Uh oh! He let it slip. Every male's nightmare: a slip of the tongue.

Byakuya hung his head low. They were doing so well. Toshiro, poor Toshiro.

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**A/N:** What did you think??? I know, Toshiro messed up BIG time. I am promising another great chapter next! Another character comes into play. It's a girl. Will she help them out or watch and even participate in the torture???? Thank you! Read and Review!


	4. Never Ending

**Never Ending**

A/N: Wow, this is so great. Thanks to everyone who remembered questions! I forgot to put that on. The guys aren't out of torture yet. I tried to update soon but I haven't found the time. Enjoy this chapter!

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_I hope I'm not late. _She thought. _Well, I wasn't going to come anyway, but since my date sort of cancelled, I might as well. I wonder what I missed. Probably nothing much. _

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"Did he just say my butt was big?" Unohana questioned.

"Well, his lie detector didn't go off so I assume he was being truthful." Rangiku commented while looking at the humiliated Toshiro. "Little boys are really easy to get information out of."

All of a sudden, the door opened.

"I thought we weren't expecting any other members." Soi Fon whispered to Yoruichi.

"I thought we weren't either." The Shihoin leader responded.

"Hi, sorry I told you guys I wasn't coming. I had a change of plans." Everyone looked towards the late member Rukia Kuchiki.

"H…hey Rukia." Rangiku stuttered. "We certainly weren't expecting you here."

"Yeah, well, I just decided that I guess I could—" She stopped as she noticed something out of sorts at the end of the room. "Is that my brother and Toshiro?"

"Well, kind of." Rangiku smiled in an attempt to make things seem lighter than they actually were.

"What are they doing strapped to chairs, sweating, well, Toshiro's crying, and more importantly, what are they doing at the Shinigami Women's Association?!" Rukia exploded. "Someone needs to explain to me why there are two guys at a _women's_ meeting!"

"You see, your brother came in and we kind of thought we would have some fun." Yoruichi explained.

"Oh, no! I'm the one who asked him to come here!" The younger Kuchiki hung her head down.

"So this is your entire fault. Then I suppose we are off the hook." Soi Fon included.

"I'm not finished with you guys yet!" She made her way to where the poor victims were seated. "How are you guys hanging in there?"

"We're making it. Thanks for you're suggestion to come here by the way. I really appreciate it." Her brother said calmly although he and his adopted sister both knew he was mad.

"How about you Toshiro?" Rukia said as considerate as she could.

"I would rather die than tell the truth again. What does that tell you?" The smaller captain looked at her with partially wet eyes and a frown across his face.

"That this was probably not your lucky day." She turned away from them both and faced the association members.

"Well at least we didn't hurt them physically." Rangiku once again commented to lighten the atmosphere.

"Oh, yeah. Good thing we didn't physically hurt them. That would have been a mess!" Yoruichi agreed.

"We only mentally scarred them for the rest of their lives." Isane shrugged.

"Now that you're here, you know, you could participate too." Rangiku offered. She saw Rukia raise her eyebrows slightly. Now she had to finish the deal. "Guys can be really annoying right?"

"Well, not really. I get along with guys just fine." Not the answer the temporary SWA leader had in mind.

"Oh, I know that; but what about your brother? Do you get along with him?"

Byakuya looked over to where they were standing at the mention of him.

"He probably never gives you what you want, does he? More freedom, less protection, and the fact that he hates Ichigo? We can't have that."

"Now we can't." Rukia said robotic-like; almost as if she was under Rangiku's trance.

"But, if you participate, I can guarantee you that your brother will let you do whatever you want. You don't even have to say anything; you can just watch if you want."

"I guess that's okay." Rukia looked down at her feet.

"Rukia, I hope you don't really believe that crap." Byakuya said in his same calm tone.

"Shut up, Byakuya! You're not making this any fun at all!" Yoruichi snapped.

"You're just using my sister for your own personal contentment and gain? That's awfully manipulative don't you think?" He retorted.

"But it's so much fun."

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After they all had a hook, line, and sinker event with Rukia, they were ready to begin again.

"Okay, Rukia, sit anywhere you want. I guess you can be like our guest for the day considering you rarely ever come at all." Rangiku directed the young girl to where all the seats were. "Okay." She slammed the gavel down. "Let this meeting continue."

"I am going to die. I am going to die. I am going to die." Toshiro repeated to himself quietly.

"You aren't going to die. I have a feeling they are almost done toying with us. We will get boring soon." Byakuya said as he focused on what the women were going to do next.

"Okay, I will start with question one of this round." Nanao raised her hand. "Why can guys only seem to do one thing at a time? Take my captain for example, he sleeps. Men can't seem to multitask."

"I guess I will take this one." Byakuya looked at Toshiro who looked liked he'd just been spooked. "Men can multitask, they just don't want to."

"Why is that?" She said back.

"Men aren't lazy, well some aren't, it just matters on terms of importance. Believe it or not, most men have a mental calendar of important things. Things further down, will mean less, as it goes up the list; it starts to get more important. Getting this?" He asked. Everyone nodded.

"That was borrrrinnngg! But, I appreciate all the information. So you should tell a guy something important at the last minute so it is at the top of his mental list." Rangiku said excitedly as she got many agreements.

"Okay, I think I am okay now." Toshiro confirmed.

"Great, then you can answer our next question." Soi Fon commented. "Take it away Captain Unohana."

"Thank you. My question would be why men never stop and ask for directions?"

The mighty but mini captain put on his thinking cap. "It would probably be because; guys always like to be right. They think they know where they are and hate when you guys tell him to ask for directions. Just give the guy a break. Sure, he may get you lost and nowhere but he will admit he needs directions when he wants to."

"Yes!" Rangiku squealed euphorically. "I have a couple questions! Would you ever date a girl because of her bust size or how she looks normally?"

Again, both males exchanged looks for silent confirmation. "How she looks normally."

"Hmph. Well, question two is pretty basic. What would you get a girl for her birthday, or would you just forget her birthday because it is not on your _calendar_?"

"Birthdays are actually pretty high on the list." Byakuya corrected.

"Yeah," Toshiro concurred. "I would probably get her something she always wanted, material wise."

"I would get something more elaborate. Not too expensive but not something she would just throw away either."

"Once again, we all aren't as rich as you Captain Kuchiki." The tenth captain sighed.

"I was just answering her question."

"Yeah, sure you were. Are you sure you were not just flaunting you're money in everyone's faces?" The boy mumbled back.

"I think you need to watch your attitude." Byakuya said a little less calmly.

"I do not have attitude!"

All the women were just going to let them continue their fight.

"You most certainly do. Children always do."

"I am not a child!" The short captain argued. A beep came from his lie detector.

"Than why are you behaving like one?" Byakuya managed to get his mood back in control. "Besides, your detector just said you were lying."

"I'm sure you did too when you were my age."

"Did what exactly, Captain Hitsugaya?"

"Have attitude."

"I did not!" Byakuya's lie detector went off.

"You did so." Yoruichi broke in.

"Did not."

"Did so."

"Did not."

"Did so."

"Did… I will not resort to that childish argument." He told her with as much respect as he could find.

"You said that because you know would have won." She said superiorly.

"I would like to continue, if you guys are done arguing, of course." Rangiku asked.

They both nodded.

Rukia actually raised her hand. "I want to know why guys say they will call you when they have no intention in doing so."

"Is this an Ichigo Kurosaki problem?" Her brother asked angrily.

"It might be."

"Well, my advice for you would be dumping him." He said hopefully.

"Not a chance. You answer would be nice, not your advice." She said in a smart- aleck sort of way.

"Okay then, he probably just forgot. He says he will call you for assurance that you stay with him. After he says it, it will probably never cross his mind again unless you remind him." Her brother said truthfully.

"Well, I want to know if men would marry someone taller than them." Isane spoke up.

"I wouldn't know a thing about marriage." Toshiro commented. "So I am not fit to answer."

Byakuya rolled his eyes at the boy's coward-like comment. "Most times, no, because the guy wants to be the bigger man. Marrying someone taller may give him self-contentment issues and he may even not want to take you to a public place."

Isane sighed.

"Hey Toshiro, why do guys get so over protective of women who are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves?" Momo asked.

"Because sometimes guys just worry, that's all."

"So, when you protected me, you worried about me?"

"I don't know."

"But you just said guys do it because they worry."

"Not _all_ guys."

"Yeah, but you said…"

"Gosh Momo! Do you have to argue at everything?" he captain said aggravated.

"Sorry Toshiro."

"It's Captain Hitsugaya." He murmured angrily.

"Toshiro," someone spoke, "Have you ever met Karin Kurosaki?"

"Yes." He answered blandly.

"Do you like her?"

"No not really."

"Is it because of her tomboyish looks?"

"No, but I admit, she does scare me. She seems like a stalker." He shivered at the thought.

"Byakuya," the same person asked. "Has Yoruichi ever attempted or make it look like she was about to molest you when you were younger?"

"What kind of question is that?" Yoruichi complained.

"An interesting one." Rangiku smiled. "Continue."

"I don't really like to think that she had, but, I think there was this one time when…" Yoruichi cut him off.

"That would be a 'no', right Byakuya?" She stared down at him.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Okay, we have time for one more." Soi Fon concluded. "You in the back."

"Okay, my question is why do tough guys always get too gushy around babies? Take Kenpachi for example. To everyone, he is mean, violent, and ruthless, but to Yachiru, he is a big teddy bear."

"I think it is because all guy lose their manliness when they come across something shorter than them and younger than them. If they are too mean, they might scare the kid and then the kid will cry and people will call the guy a child abuser."

"Well, said captain, well said." Rangiku clapped.

Suddenly, someone else opened the door.

____________________

**A/N:** Yes! Two new fanfic chapters in one day! Thanks to everyone for reviewing! I would like more questions for the next poor sucker that comes in. It's a guy who we all know. Thanks for all the support! I am dedicating this fanfiction to all the guys out there who have experienced this or who just need another guy's opinion. Also to all the girls out there who want to get into a guys mind. Thanks again!


	5. I'm Not Pregnant

**I'm Not Pregnant!**

**A/N:** You find out who opened the door. Sorry it's been long. I haven't had time because of my new story 'Renovation' (Check it out if you want). Anyway, it is a little short because I had a 101.6 fever. I hope this chapter is good!

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"Is it just me, or is this day just getting better?" Someone called form the bunch of people.

"Why exactly is that?" The mystery person questioned.

"Because, you make boy number three."

"What?"

Rangiku broke in. "It's nothing. So, what did you come for?"

"I was looking for my captain. I came here to rub it in his face that I got my paperwork done before he did!"

"I have a good excuse on why I did not finish as promptly as usual." The captain said from the back.

"Oh, why is that?" The person retorted.

The captain directed the person's eyes to where he was sitting; showing he was cuffed to the chair.

"Renji, you rubbed it in Byakuya's face, now leave!" Soi Fon ordered.

"Hey, is that Rukia? Hi Rukia!" Renji waved eagerly.

"Hey Renji."

"You know, Renji" Rangiku said mischievously. "You can stay if you want. You have to sit in that chair over there."

"Well, okay." The red-haired lieutenant took a seat next to his fellow males.

"Renji you're so stupid." Toshiro complained.

"Why is that, shorty?"

"Because you have just fallen under the Shinigami Women Association spell."

"No I haven't. I am just sitting in a chair, next to two tortured-looking guys, in the front of the room, surrounded by women… oh, man! Why didn't somebody warn me?" The lieutenant slapped himself in the forehead.

"You're already an idiot, keeping you from doing something idiotic just isn't in your nature." His captain said icily.

"So what are they going to do to us? I know they won't rape us because Toshiro would be happy and jittery and you would be scarred with a scared expression. Are they going to force us to eat dirt?"

"You just answer questions you buffoon!" The smaller captain said exasperated.

"Victim number three." Yoruichi smiled.

"No." Renji objected. "Ichigo is right outside."

Everyone turned to the door.

"Oh crap! They know I am here!" A voice said from outside.

Then they heard a girly scream as Ichigo made an attempt to run away.

"Can someone get him?" Rangiku asked.

Before anyone else could, Yoruichi ran out and came back with Ichigo in a fireman's carry. She swiftly slung him down in a chair next to Renji.

"Renji, the other two are right. You are an idiot!" The carrot-top sneered.

"I wouldn't be talking, idiot." Byakuya said in his normal tone.

"Yeah, but he is a bigger idiot." Ichigo shrugged.

"No, you are the bigger idiot!" Renji yelled back.

"You are."

"No, it's definitely you."

"No, it's you, by far."

"It's you by a landslide!"

"It's you, you big, tall, red-haired, lieutenant-ish, tattooed, glasses-wearing, somewhat aggressive, idiot!"

"No, it's- wait, _somewhat _aggressive? I am _all_ aggressive. You idiot."

"STOP!" The tenth captain screamed. "You _both_ are idiots for arguing about who is the bigger idiot!"

"Thanks for the entertainment." Someone called out.

"Yes, really," Rangiku admitted. "But we should really be getting to our main objective. We'll do another round of questions and then have some lunch."

"Thanks goodness," Toshiro sighed, "I could really use some lunch."

"Oh. Not you guys. Just us." Unohana smiled.

"Okay, this time we will do things a little differently." Yoruichi commented.

"What? I didn't know about this!" Her busty podium partner grumbled.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I changed the ideas a bit."

"But _I'm_ the temporary chairwoman. _You_ are supposed to be a part of the audience."

"You didn't mind me being here until I had an idea. Is something wrong?" The cat-lady inquired.

"_You_ having an idea _I_ didn't have!"

"Anyway," Yoruichi continued, ignoring her friend. "This time we have collected online questions."

Everyone nodded, showing they understood how this was going to work.

"Then we will begin."

_______________________

"First we have, Kurokumo asking, are men willing to defend a girl against someone who is clearly stronger than them? That's a good question." Rangiku said as she regained her spot on the podium.

"Renji should answer this, giving us a break." Byakuya said exasperatedly.

"Fine." The lieutenant agreed. "I would say, yes. If a guy likes a girl, he will defend her. The guy would take a beating from another guy to get sympathy from a girl later and maybe something else."

"Next would be, are there times when a guy gets scared or intimidated by a girl?"

"Renji can answer that one too, considering he is intimidated by girls." Ichigo snickered.

"I am not!" He objected, starting another argument.

"Yes you are! You're intimidated by Rukia!"

"Not, me! It must be yourself you are thinking of carrot-top."

"No, it was you, red pineapple."

"Can someone answer the question?" A random person yelled.

"Alright, I will." Ichigo cleared his throat. "A guy will get intimidated when a girl threatens him, shows that her strength level is surprisingly high, or she is notorious or infamous for something."

"Here is our next one. It was sent in by kRyStAlt3aRz and it is when a girl says I love you first does the guy say it back because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings? Or does he mean it?"

Toshiro vouched to answer this question. "If the guy feels like she said it too soon, _he_ wanted to say it first, or he doesn't like her like that, then he will say it because he cares about her feelings. If you have dated for a long time, he probably means it."

"Again, well said captain. Our next question is from… anonymous. It's for Renji asking, if you are pregnant." She stifled and then broke out laughing.

"What? That's a question to ask a girl! There is no way I could get pregnant!"

"Maybe this person thought you were a girl. You know, 'Renji' does sound like a girl name. But, you never answered the question. Are you or are you not, pregnant?"

"No!"

"Thanks for that. You had us all worried. You can all exhale now." Many people let out their breath. "Why do guys use cheesy pick up lines when they know that they don't work? This is for Renji _and_ Ichigo from Bloodangel92."

"Well, because guys think that those pick-up lines will work and…" Ichigo began.

"… and the guy always tried to pick a line that is unique to impress the girl but…" Renji continued.

"… but the girl always turns him down even if…"

"… the guy tried really hard so…"

"… the girl needs to give the guy a break." Ichigo finished.

"That was a unique way of answering. It is almost as if you practiced that." Rangiku commented.

"Nah, we just know what to say next, or to improvise." Renji said proudly.

"Well, we have more questions for you guys. Byakuya has been a little quiet, but we finally have a question for him. Why are guys so overprotective of there siblings? I have a feeling Rukia sent this."

"Many older brothers are protective of their siblings because they don't want to see them get hurt. The brother has probably had some adversity that they don't want another sibling to experience." He responded directly.

"So you care about Rukia? We all honestly thought you were emotionless." Nanao affirmed.

"Coming up, our question is for my captain." She read it. "Wow, this is stalker-like. If you answer this with full thought people will get the wrong idea. Here it is: why do some guys follow the person they have feelings for around sometimes?"

"Who would send that for me? I'm not a stalker. Um, they follow them around to know and find out more about that person. They want to be prepared for dates by knowing the person more. Although, I don't know why this was directed to me, I don't stalk people." Toshiro grumbled.

"Yes, we know you don't roll that way, captain. Subsequently, I know, it's my word of the day; anyway, we have a new entry. This is from SS, I like that username. It is short and to the point. It is would you marry someone equally cold and impassive like you are to everyone?"

"I wouldn't say I was cold to _everyone. _Besides, it's a characteristic I set up for myself. If I'm not cold and impassive, no one would take me seriously. Other than that, no, I am not getting married. Ever."

"Straightforward. So, our next contender, Ladiie-Angeliie, asks why boys must always deny that they have feelings for a girl at first. I think this is an Ichigo question, so have at it."

"Well, I don't know this personal experience but, guys don't like the feeling of liking someone, especially if it's their first time. They will deny it and start to be mean to that girl even. Soon, as guys get older, they realize it's a good feeling. Sometimes."

"Wow that explains a lot. Looks like we are almost done here but, a question still remains; to Toshiro from shikinah: are you aware that many people are making fun of your height? What is your message for them?"

The little captain scrunched his shoulders and folded his arms. He had an irritated look on his face. "I would tell them to get over it! We all grow at our own pace so stop criticizing mine! I take naps every day; eat healthy foods, still nothing. I'm not happy with being 4'4", life just gave this to me." He broke out. "It's not my fault." He continued to grumble.

"Well, that's all the time we have for right now. All of us _girls_ are going out to lunch, while you guys can stay here and think about the food you would have had." Rangiku waved them good-bye and led all of the women out the door when they were suddenly greeted by another figure.

_____________________

**A/N: **Sorry again for the late update. I won't need questions for the next chapter because it is them at lunch if they can get past the person first! Thanks to all of the reviews! I hope you didn't mind me using you in the story this time! I will try to update by mid October. Thanks!


	6. Lunch of Our Discontent

**Lunch of Our Discontent**

**A/N: **Chapter six! Thought I would never get this done! I finally got rid of the swine flu! Yes, I got the swine flu. But luckily, it can't be transferred through the computer.  Sorry for the long wait! I have also changed this story by changing the character section. Since it is about all of them now, 'Byakuya' shouldn't be the main heading character. So now it is a characterless heading. Oh well, enjoy the chapter!

__________________________

"What is going on here?" The person said gruffly.

"We are going to lunch, sir." Someone called out.

"Hmph, well then." He shrugged. Then, peeked open one eye and noticed tortured souls in the far end of the vicinity. "What is really going on here?"

Everyone new they had to improvise. They couldn't frankly say 'we took these guys as hostage, do you want to be next?' Then again, he wouldn't make a very good candidate for this kind of thing; not to mention that he was their boss.

Rangiku suddenly thought of the perfect way out of this. She gasped abruptly. "Intruders!" She yelled blatantly.

Each person developed a confused face, but those most baffled, were the victims in the back.

The person furthered the conversation. "How did they intrude? They are tied up, in shackles! It is almost as if this is a torture chamber."

"It is!" Toshiro cried. "This is insane! We didn't intrude anything!"

"Yeah," Ichigo concurred. "If you're talking about intruding, it's all them!" He gestured towards the eager ladies waiting to got to lunch. "They _invaded_ our personal space!"

"That is just preposterous!" Rangiku laughed as she made her way to the front of the line. "Tell him it's just preposterous, Yoruichi." She nudged the person next to her.

"It's just preposterous." She said annoyed. "We're really hungry, you know."

"Let them starve!" Renji shouted. "They were about to let _us_ starve! Come on Captain-Commander!"

The first division captain stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I don't know the meaning of this, but this is clearly not right. Those boys shouldn't be here. They could sue you for kidnap and assault."

"We can?" Ichigo said overjoyed, with tears almost slipping out of his eyes.

"Indeed you can." The old captain nodded.

"But don't!" Rukia pleaded.

"I wouldn't sue _you_, Rukia. I would sue everyone else involved with all this; the masterminds behind this whole shindig. I know you were innocent, Rukia."

Rukia whimpered a bit while Byakuya scoffed.

"What is your problem?" Ichigo pivoted to face him.

"Rukia isn't innocent. This I know for sure."

"No way. You don't believe your own sister?" Ichigo objected.

"I don't believe her _because_ she is my sister. I know her too well then to whimper when she thinks she's innocent. She would speak out for herself. She is definitely in on this." The sixth captain mentioned evenly.

"He's right; I've known Rukia since forever. She's the more aggressive type, not really the damsel in distress thing." Renji complied.

Ichigo lowered his shoulders in disbelief. "Fine, I don't know her at all."

"We are hungry people." Soi Fon said angrily. "Captain-Commander, please, state your business, and then think about exiting. There is food waiting for us at some lonely, barren table."

"I plan to do just that. I came here to see how everything was going. My schedule wasn't that busy today and I felt the impulse to see where all the women were. Lieutenant Sasakibe told me that I might find you all here. What exactly do you do at these meetings?"

All the members were uncomfortable with telling him this sort of information.

"Here, we talk about money, missions, and more. The three 'M's." Retsu answered benevolently.

"Isn't Lieutenant Kusajishi in charge?" he pursued.

"She couldn't be here so I am filling in." Rangiku waved.

"If that is all you do, then why are the young men in the back there?"

"Because they intruded. We were all here, talking about today's adversities and then we happened to see them peeking in the window. Now, normally we would ignore this because they could not hear us. That was, until they sent someone to hear what we were saying. Now that was intolerable. We simply took them in and chained them to the chairs. If they wanted to hear us so badly, they wouldn't mind sitting though some girl talk." The fourth captain concluded.

"That's sounds fair. You all may carry on then." The old man stomped his cane down and turned away.

"Our only hope was hopeless." Ichigo cried.

"Well, at least we can continue on with our plans. Lunch may have been delayed by a few minutes but that is no reason to eliminate it from our agenda." Soi Fon stated firmly.

"We weren't planning to. Now, let us all get some food." Nanao motioned toward the door and everyone made their way out.

________________________

_10 minutes later._

Ichigo and Renji were both in the middle of a panic attack.

"How long have they been gone?" The carrot top pleaded.

"At least an hour, maybe more." The red pineapple answered exasperatedly.

"It's only been at least ten minutes." Byakuya clarified.

"Really?" They both asked in unison.

"Yes, really." Toshiro responded annoyed.

"It seems like it was forever. It's just, I'm so hungry, and I haven't eaten because I thought Rukia and I had lunch plans." Ichigo wailed.

"She really turned _you_ down." Renji managed to smirk.

"Shut up! She was at this thing, remember?" He retorted.

"Sure, whatever. She blew you off and you and I both know it."

"She wouldn't do that. I am her current almost boyfriend." Ichigo grinned.

"You aren't even that close. If you don't believe me, let's get some confirmation." The lieutenant looked towards the two captains. "She blew him off, right?"

"Yes, definitely, you're not good enough for her anyway, Ichigo Kurosaki." The sixth captain replied coolly.

"She blew you off five times to Sunday." * Toshiro commented.

"Thanks for the back up. You guys are great in battle, but when it comes to _verbally_ helping a brother out, you suck." The substitute said crossly as he sulked in his chair.

This didn't really matter at first, the boy could sulk all he wanted to; this was until Byakuya noticed something.

"Kurosaki," He stated quickly.

"Again with the last name basis, it's never just 'Ichigo' or 'that cool guy over there'."

"Stop your griping."

"Fine, what is it that you wanted?"

"You can sulk in your chair and fold your arms."

"Yes, I can. Can't everyone? Have you gone mental?" Ichigo inquired.

"No, but, if you can sulk and fold your arms, it means you aren't locked in." Byakuya trying to get the point across.

Ichigo lifted his arms up and sat up in his chair. "Hey, I'm not locked up. Weird, 'cause I was sure that they strapped me in."

"Do you know what this means, you moron?" Toshiro pried.

"That I don't go hungry?" The teen guessed.

"No, it means you can get us out!" The little captain said angrily.

"What makes you think I would?"

"I know you'll let _me_ out, right buddy?" Renji anticipated.

"I thought about that, but then I remembered you arguing with me, saying 'she blew you off' and 'she turned you down'. I think it's a 'save my own behind' kind of situation." Ichigo chuckled.

Soon, the freed prisoner caught all the trapped victims giving him irritated looks.

"Oh, cheer up. Hey, so you guys will hate me less, I'll give you a cheat." He walked up to the podium, opened a little cabinet and took out the keys. Then he tauntingly swung them in the air. "I'll put this right here, and we'll see if you get them." He then set them on top of the podium.

Ichigo left in a flash, laughing all the way.

"That podium is like, seventeen feet away!" Renji complained.

"This isn't making me hate him less." The tenth captain muttered.

______________________

It was at one of the most prestigious restaurants in the Soul Society. Fancy atmosphere, expensive interior designs, and the most exquisite foods.

"This place is amazing." Kiyone stared.

"Yes, it is beautiful. And this is all going on Yoruichi's tab. Thanks for the treat!" Rangiku squealed.

The Shihoin leader looked puzzled with disbelief. "I didn't know about this. When were going to tell me that _I_ would be paying for over fifty people?"

"Well, I just assumed it would be okay with you." The tenth division lieutenant said innocently.

"Well, it isn't."

"Sorry, but I think you owe us, sweetie."

"How is that?"

"Because, you have a lot of money, it is only fair that you spend it on friends." Nanao affirmed.

"More like spend it on my friends' _expense_."

After, this dispute had been settled, everyone was ready to order. Soon, each person began telling their orders to the poor waiter.

"I'm getting tekka maki." Someone called out.

"Miso soup for me!"

"Yakitori please!"

"Just white rice and sashimi."

Orders were sent in finally.

"I head this place has some of the best food around." Isane commented.

"So did I!" A member agreed.

"Can we please order some low priced items?" Yoruichi questioned.

Suddenly, a Hell butterfly arrived in the restaurant and made its way to the women's table. It then perched on Rangiku's hand.

She pulled it close and then, moments later, appalled and startled.

"What is it?" Soi Fon pushed.

"We've been sued."

_____________________

* In Volume 12 page 18, Toshiro says this saying. "Whoa! Renji was beaten five times to Sunday!"

**A/N:** Hope it was good enough for the long wait! I would appreciate reviews! Hopefully, I will get to 50! Man, balancing school and everything else; and yet I still make time for this! The next chapter will come out near Halloween, more or less. Thanks!


	7. Don't Tell Me What To Do!

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

_________________________________________

**A/N:** Since I have nothing to do on Halloween, why not update this story? Things just get better and better.

____________________________

"We can't be sued!" Soi Fon claimed.

"Yes, we can." Nanao corrected.

"But we didn't do anything!" The captain retorted.

"Yes, we did." The lieutenant remarked back.

"Are you on our side or not?" Soi Fon inquired.

"Sorry, I'm on your side." Nanao pushed up her glasses as she apologized.

"Stop bickering, we have more important matters at hand. Such as being sued!" Rangiku said as she slapped her hand down on the table.

"Well, were we fined?" Unohana questioned.

"Yeah, but, this is a lot of money." The now serious Rangiku commented.

"How much are we talking about?" The eighth lieutenant pushed.

"92, 222, 761 ¥." * She said in one breath.

Overwhelming looks circled the table.

"Can someone _really_ sue us for _that_ much? That seems a little far fetched, don't you agree?" Someone commented.

Many nodded in concurrence.

"Well, I don't know about you ladies, but, I can't pay this." Isane said frankly.

"Yoruichi can." Rangiku smiled with her normal attitude returning.

Once again, the Shihoin leader gave a look of disbelief. "I am paying for this lunch; you really think I would pay for that fine? That amount is noting compared to the bill I will be receiving!"

"All members have to pitch in." Kiyone mentioned. "You're just doing your part."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm being used for my money and that you're only keeping me here for my cash." She said suspiciously.

"Of course not! But if you wanted to pay the fine, we would all reach a whole new level of respect or you." The fourth captain said politely hoping her tone would make the princess reconsider.

"I refuse. Just go to the council, do your trial, and tell them your story."

"What if we end up guilty?" Nanao pursued.

"It would be easier to pay the fine and then avoid being tried." Unohana grinned with a smile that was starting to break.

"Well, we don't even know who sued us." Isane managed to say.

"It was me!" A figure bellowed as they entered the restaurant.

_____________________________

"…And I give all my headbands, to Rukia; I shall give my sunglasses, to Rukia; my books, Rukia should have…"

"Renji, what are you doing?" The tenth captain asked as he saw Renji writing on the folds of his shihakusho.

"I'm logging down my will." He stammered.

"What on earth for?"

"For when I die! I want all of my items to go to the special people in my life."

"It sounds like you're giving everything to Rukia." The captain pointed out.

"I am not! If you keep talking to me like that, you won't be mentioned." The slightly insane Renji told him.

Toshiro rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you have Ichigo mentioned in there? Isn't he your best friend?"

"No! And don't mention _that_ name. Ichigo doesn't deserve it because he's a dumb ass traitor."

"Ichigo, Ichigo, Ichigo..." Toshiro said tauntingly. It wasn't much of his thing, but poking fun at Renji in his time of weakness was pretty funny. "Well hey, at least _Ichigo_ got out."

"Stop saying the cursed name!" Renji growled.

Those two were too busy picking at each other that they didn't notice Byakuya summon his sword. He uncomfortably held it as best as he could. Then, he tried to reach the keys. Extending the sword as far as possible and yet he was still a few feet away.

"Renji, Toshiro, drop your irrelevant conversation to summon your swords." He finally spoke.

"Why is that, captain?" Renji said almost drunkenly.

"Because, if we can balance all of our swords on top of each other, it may be long enough to reach the keys." He explained.

"That makes no sense." Renji snorted.

"It sounds pointless," Toshiro said with a tone that hinted he didn't like agreeing with Renji. "It also sounds like it is bound to fail."

"Just do it." The older captain demanded.

Both shook their heads and called on their swords, unbeknownst to the cool breeze and cherry blossoms they felt during that time.

"No what do we do?" The lieutenant asked, soon to find his captain wasn't there. "Where did he go?"

"Renji," The tenth captain said exasperatedly. "He escaped."

"What?" The red pineapple baffled. "How?"

"Apparently, he has occupied us long enough to escape. All he did was cut himself out."

"Oh, man! This is terrible! I'm gonna die!"

_________________________

All the women started to laugh.

"Ichigo? _You_ really sued _us_? That's hilarious!" Rangiku snickered.

"What are you laughing at? This is serious business! You all could go to jail!" The teen explained after he realized that no one feared this.

"Oh, carrot top, if only you were laughing. This is just funny. You are coming at us with words. You wouldn't be able put your words into action." The strawberry blonde laughed some more.

"I have filed a lawsuit! I can put my words into action!" He stomped his foot down aggravated.

"_Lawsuit_? Where do you think this is? The World of the Living? There are no lawsuits and no lawyers, yet we _do_ have a court meeting. Anyway, you wouldn't put over fifty women in jail."

"Damn right I will!" He narrowed his eyes in an effort to be serious.

"Watch your language. You must be a terrible example for your sisters. And you wonder why your dad hits you, potty mouth." She attempted to strike a nerve.

"Don't bring my family into this. Now, pay the fine or try to win in trial. What will it be?"

All the women gathered around the table in group discussion while Ichigo impatiently tapped his foot.

"We are going to settle this in trial." Nanao confirmed.

Ichigo brought on a face of confusion and shock.

"And why is that?"

"Because, if we paid the fine, all the money would go to you, if we settled this in trial, we would at least get fair judgment." Soi Fon concluded.

"Fine, then I will see you in court." Then, the substitute walked away until bonking into someone.

"Excuse me," He said until he saw who it was. "Byakuya?"

The captain narrowed his eyes angrily. "Ichigo Kurosaki."

"H-how d-did you get out? D-did you g-get the keys?" Ichigo stammered nervously.

"No, in fact, I cut my self out. No thanks to you, of course." Byakuya said while maintaining his gaze.

The orange headed teen smiled weakly. "Yeah, well, now that you're out maybe you could help me."

"Wait," Someone interrupted. "Those handcuffs weren't supposed to break."

"Everything can break if need be. Anyway Ichigo, it depends what you need. Not like I would help you, but I am certainly curious." The sixth captain said while breaking his glare into his normal expression.

"Well, I have sued these women and I plan for you to be a witness or you could also charge them."

"Interesting, because I was planning to charge them as well."

"Then why don't we both charge them?"

"I might actually take you up on that matter."

"Great!" Ichigo grinned slightly.

"What?" The Shinigami Women's Association all hesitated.

"Hey, Byakuya," Ichigo asked as the Kuchiki ruler cringed at the informal use of his name, "What happened to Renji and Toshiro?"

"They are still stuck in the room, trapped in their seats most likely."

___________________________

"Reach, Renji! Reach!" Toshiro chanted.

Renji had balanced his sword on top of Toshiro's and now they were trying to get the keys.

"I've almost got them!" The red head commented.

"And you told Captain Kuchiki this was a bad idea!" The kid mocked.

"So did you, shorty, don't be talking so tough. You're too young to talk to me that way!" He said as he struggled with getting his arm and the swords far enough.

"I'm at a higher rank than you are; I can talk to you in any way I want! Now reach!"

"I am!"

"If you were trying hard enough, we would be out of this mess! Now reach you buffoon!"

_________________________

The women's association had moved themselves to a new location way out in the grassy fields of the Rugonkai's first district. They were all trying to digest the fact that they were being sued.

"What are we going to do? We don't have a plan, do we?" The fourth captain said forlornly.

"No, we don't, but with crucial evidence and facts, we might get away with it and come out clean." Rangiku said somewhat optimistically.

"There are a few things wrong with that statement." Nanao interjected. "One is that we _don't_ have any crucial evidence; two is that we all _know_ we are guilty and don't want to admit it; and three is that the boys have a lot of advantages over us."

"Like what?" The busty woman shot back.

"Well, they have actual evidence like handcuff marks, and **brains that can store memories!" **She threw her hands in the air. "Not to mention, the Captain-Commander was there to witness it too!"

"Oh please, the captain is so old he can't even remember everyone's names. Not even Lieutenant Sasakibe's. I also have just devised a perfect plan to rid the boys of all their evidence."

"How so?"  
"Come close ladies, and I'll tell you."

_________________________

* 92, 222, 761 ¥ is 1,000,000 dollars. That's a lot, right?

**A/N:** Thanks for reading! Glad I finally got this chapter out. The next chapter, 'Trial and Errors', I plan for it to be longer than the usual ones. It has Rangiku's plan and the trial in it. It may take me longer to do that one! I plan to be back around mid November (most likely earlier).

Thanks to: kRyStAlt3aRz, IceFlower7, Sylus D Wolfe, bandgeek9, SS, girlX901 , Ladiie-Angeliie. , Bloodangel92 , girlX901 , music4soul , Kurokumo, , MyMusesSpeakToMe , ellithea , AnimeLuver4everandevr , Reven Firebane , narutofan1091 , idontseepenguins , shikinah , Lame vs Cool , Revolation , Doremon , Daniel14541 , Kaiser Washington , bleach-real2430, and maximuso! Also to anyone else whom I forgot to mention. Sorry.

I finally got to do a full thank you to everyone who has reviewed!

Thanks again, and I hope you all continue to read this story although it is getting a little off questions. It is going to be more of a story now. Later!


	8. There's No Plan B?

There's No Plan B?

**A/N: **I guess I should let you know before hand, that the two chapters were so long together, I had to split them into two. Sorry about that! I even had to change the title so it fit the story more. This came out a little later than expected; but, this one is longer than some others so here it is.

* * *

_Three Days Before Trial_

"Okay, so we have our plan, right?" Ichigo stated as he looked around. Byakuya was looking away from him, unimpressed, and the newly freed comrades, Renji and Toshiro, were too busy arguing.

"We all understand the arrangement. Now, my concern is that they might come up with some scheme to get us back. Most likely at night." Byakuya mentioned.

"Well, that won't happen. They aren't that desperate. Besides, they said that they were going to win, so there would be no reason to plot against us." Ichigo confided.

"Alright then, however, can we take night shifts as a precaution?"

"Oh, Byakuya, you are so paranoid. They wouldn't attack us. They can't do it. We all are more powerful then all fifty of them combined! No guts no glory."

The sixth captain shrugged. If the idiot wouldn't listen to reason then what was the point? You can't teach a bumbling moron common sense.

"Then this meeting is adjourned. Here is your paper copy of the plan and I will see you all in court." The teen passed out his plan to all three of them and waved them off.

When Toshiro finally had the time to look at the design, it wasn't exactly inspiring. It was more of an eyesore. It had poor drawings with incomplete sentences written in chicken scratch handwriting. The paper was jumbled with disappointment all across the page.

"This is terrible." The tenth captain mumbled as he wadded the instructional sheet and slipped it in is shihakusho.

* * *

_10:30 PM the same day_

"This is a critical meeting, ladies." Rangiku said determinedly. All focus was upon her.

"What is our plan?" Kiyone catechized.

"Our plan is this, but listen closely: first, we take out their brains so they have no memory, then, we spray perfume everywhere for the sake of our smell being hidden, then we inconspicuously drag them out to the lake and throw them in."

Astounded faces swept the room.

Their leader burst out in merriment. "You all fell for that! Whew, that was a knee slapper! Hilarious!"

She then received some disapproving looks.

"Oh, take a joke you tightwads."

Then, their real chairwoman burst through the door.

"Hey! Hope ya didn't miss me too much!" The eleventh vice smiled.

"President Yachiru. Welcome back." Nanao bowed respectively.

"What did I miss? Nothin' much I guess!" She squealed.

"We were sued." Someone said abruptly.

The girl's grin turned with a look of concern that followed. "Whadda ya mean? Sued?"

"It's just that, Madame President."

She then got the high chair and sat at the podium. A gavel was smashed against the stand. "How could ya let this happen?"

"We let a few moments of fun overcome us." Isane uttered.

"Like what?"

"It was pure torture. Verbally, though. Not too extreme. Nothing to fret over." Unohana forced a smile.

"How much?" The pink haired lieutenant pressed.

"Only ¥ 92, 222, 76." The captain said almost loosing her smirk.

"Well, we can pay that." Yachiru sat back in her chair, more relaxed.

"President, we don't have that kind of money." Nanao whispered.

"'Course we do. It's all in the safe, right? Our savings?"

"You spent all of that money on sweets." The eighth assistant frowned.

Then, the lieutenant found a freshly spit out lollipop in her hair, courtesy of her equal.

"Well, this ain't good." The eleventh assistant quivered as she ignored the person beside her whom was attempting to get the sticky food out of her hair.

"Anyway, we need resolve and apparently, Rangiku thinks she has the answer." The fourth lieutenant blurted.

"Do ya? Please share."

"This plan is going to take effect at night. We sneak into their barracks and dip their hands I alcohol and then scrape their top layer of skin off their fingertips. Next-" She was cut off.

"Pardon, but what is the alcohol for? I mean, I know that you have to take the first layer off for fingerprint disappearance." A younger member inquired.

"Well, for one, the alcohol rids their hands of germs because who knows where boys stick their hands; two, is because they erase pass traces of fingerprints also; and three, is because they might wet their pants which would be hilarious." Rangiku almost chuckled. "Any questions before I sort you into groups?"

"I have one." The girl at the podium spoke out. "Why are you givin' orders? I'm in charge!" She pouted.

"What do _you_ say we do, _Madame President_?" Rangiku said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, I say follow through, but I just wanna say it myself." She turned with a satisfied grin. "Continue to give 'em orders."

"Anyhow, I have set you all up based on skill, technique, and randomness. I honestly did this by random." She again, laughed at her own joke. "I will be participating by the way. So, here are your stations: Captain Unohana and Lieutenant Isane will take a group of selected people to Renji's quarters. This shouldn't be hard considering he leaves his door open. Nanao, Kiyone, and their selected group will cover Ichigo. His whereabouts are sometimes unpredictable so this is a bit harder. Yoruichi and Soi Fon take their people and get Byakuya. Chances are he will have a more heavily guarded front door. Yoruichi will get in based on family ties, while Soi Fon and your troops will sneak in. And I will get my captain alone because others can't handle this grouchy prepubescent. We strike at 1:00AM. Clear?" The busty woman said with all confidence.

Everyone nodded and waited to be picked for a squad. Just like waiting for someone to pick you for a sport.

"Where am I going to go?" Yachiru frowned.

Rangiku bent down to meet the girl's height. "You won't be participating."

The candy addict stomped her foot down right on Rangiku's. "Why not?"

She managed to speak while wincing in pain. "Because it will be past your bedtime won't it?"

"Kenny let's me stay up as long as I want!"

"That's nice." She cracked a smile as she had a firm grasp on her aching foot.

"So what position am I?" The girl's eyes shown fire.

"You will be in Captain Unohana's."

This didn't please the brat, but at least she shut up.

When everyone was placed, it was time to commence.

* * *

_11:14PM_

Renji had decided to join Ichigo for the moment to revise his plan.

"What is this drawing of?" The red pineapple narrowed his eyes and pointed at the stick figure.

"That is Toshiro sleeping." Ichigo confirmed.

"Why are all of us in the same room?"

"We aren't! See? There are lines separating our bedrooms. That shows that we all sleep in different places."

"No it doesn't." Renji objected. "Man, I wonder if Toshiro or the captain can read this crap."

"What are you? A critic? Don't judge my work if you can't do any better yourself."

"I bet I could."

"Lies. I am a better artist than a lot of people." Ichigo folded his arms.

"I wouldn't call you an _artist,_ more of a doodler."

The substitute stuck his tongue out at his friend.

"Ichigo," Renji said in a more straight-forward tone.

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you let us out today?"

"Hmm?"

"Remember? You hid the freaking keys at the podium and left us for dead." Renji complained.

"I didn't leave you for dead. You're alive, aren't you?"

"That doesn't answer my question, dumbo. Why did you do it in the first place?"

"I don't know. I realized I was free and kind of seized the moment. I felt kind of full of pride. I mean, everyone is always looking down on me and stuff. To prove that I could get out and you guys couldn't was a great feeling."

"You do know that it was the captain who told you were free, and that nobody looks down on you anymore right? You're like the secret weapon of the Soul Society." Renji consoled.

"I guess so."

"Well, I better be off to bed. See you tomorrow for more trial talk."

"Later." Ichigo watched Renji leave and then rubbed his eyes. "This is not what I had in mind."

* * *

_12:46AM_

First, everyone had gone to a local bar to fill up on alcohol buckets. (Not for drinking). Then, they met in their meeting house.

"Well, there are the guy's chairs." Someone pointed out.

Everyone took a look at the four seats. One had the key still in the lock; the other had looked as if it was also manually unlocked. The other two differentiated. One had the chains torn and shattered, while the other looked unused; as if it was never locked.

"It's a shame they got out." Another member spoke which was followed by some nods.

"So, for these final moments, ladies, we will review our plans and add anything extra. Anything? No? Then we better get into positions. If we have an unsuccessful mission, then retreat and report back to the safe land. Oh, I never mentioned the safe land did I?" Rangiku pondered. Some people shook their heads. "It's the third Rukongai District. Everyone, go to your positions."

All dispersed and awaited 1:00AM.

* * *

_1:00AM_

Unohana quietly made her way towards Renji's barrack as she led her group to surround the perimeter.

The few people went into his room and followed through. They dipped his hands in the luke-warm alcohol and sure enough, he wet his pants.  
Everyone tried to suppress laughter as a big dark spot appeared on his covers. They then scraped off the thin first layer of skin, put lotion and cream all over his shackle marks, took the lie detector that they all kept as evidence, and left. Easy.

Ichigo was the next culprit, and, like suspected, he was not in his barrack. He was just outside in the training ground; asleep. All Nanao, Kiyone, and the rest needed was to acknowledge he was asleep.

Although, he was mumbling nonsense, they all could refrain from chortling.

They had also successfully pulled off the mission and had seen Ichigo do things in his sleep that they could have lived without.

Byakuya was harder to do because of one key factor. He wasn't asleep. He, apparently, had followed his own idea of staying up in fear of being jumped or something. He then heard from his servant that a visitor had come for him. A visitor at an odd hour of night would be suspicious. As suspected, they were caught.

"You're just lucky you weren't asleep." Yoruichi said unhappily.

"It wasn't luck; it was logic, common sense, and predictability. Of course you would do something to rid evidence in trail." He spoke calmly as Yoruichi, Soi Fon, and the others headed back in failure.

Toshiro was last. He had fallen into the night realm on his desk with papers sticking to his face and sweet beans in one hand. Rangiku laughed slightly at her innocent captain in his sleep mode. She painstakingly lifted his arms and got him to lie on his back against his chair. His drooling suddenly got heavier which she thought was cute and gross at the same time. She dipped his small hands in the alcohol and scraped off his layer of skin. Then, lotion and healing cream was put on his heavily bruised wrists. Before she left, she pat him on the head and turned off the light.

The tenth lieutenant returned to the safe land seeing Byakuya with his sword pointed towards everyone who was there. That was pretty much all of them.

"Byakuya, what are you doing?" She said slowly.

"I'm getting you back. You resorted to attacking. This, I will not let go unpunished." He said stonily.

"We played a prank."

"Why is that? I would say it is because you are afraid of losing. You have no evidence on your side so you must even out the sides. Pitiful, really."

"We can settle this."

"How so? What could you offer that will not cause me to use my shikai right now?" He pointed the sword straight at the group leaders.

"In court. We will settle this in court." She stuck her hand out in hope for an agreeing handshake.

He then shunned her gesture and left. "Two days until court trial."

They all waited until he was gone.

"What's plan B?" Yachiru said, looking up at Rangiku.

"We don't have one." She murmured.

"THERE'S NO PLAN B!?"

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you all didn't mind this being a separate chapter than what I promised; but, that just means more of this story! I plan for the next chapter to be the trial and the day before the trial. I swear, it will be! Thanks to all of my support! Keeping this story going feels great!

Time for me to ask a question to you! Here it is:

I want to know if you guys have any good ideas for trial. I need some ideas for the trial and the day before.

Please send things like what they did, what testimonials they can make, counterarguments and arguments are always fun (they can even be some random argument), something funny for the characters to do. Send me stuff! Review please and feel free to drop me a PM.

The next chapter is in late November or super early December. Thanks!


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